09 2 / 2016
the signs as quotes from "the comeback kid"
- 1: eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs
- 2: here's an on fire garbage can... could be a nursery
- 3: "you have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair," you know, how you talk to a child
- 4: marijuana is legal in 18 or 19 states. it's insane. don't whoo if you're white. it's always been legal for us, come on sir
- 5: i know you told me, but i have had a very long day, i am very small, and i have no money, so you can imagine the stress im under
- 6: "oh we have to go!! we have to go see bill!" and without looking up at her my dad goes, "why? it's not like he's gonna remember you."
- 7: so my dad pulled up to the drive thru window and ordered a black coffee. the one thing no kid can every enjoy
- 8: anyone who's seen my dick and met my parents needs to die
- 9: bill clinton turns, looks at my mom and says, "hey ellen!" cause he never forgets a bitch ever
- 10: we bought a house that was built in the 20s but it was flipped in 2014, which means it's haunted but it has a lovely kitchen backsplash
- 11: we were at lion king on broadway and there was a five year old behind us going, "look it's pumbaa! look its timon!" and my dad turned around and said, "are you going to talk the entire time?"
- 12: some people give off a vibe of.. right away, and they're like, "do not fuck with me." my vibe is more like, "hey, you could pour soup in my lap and i'll probably apologize to you!"
22 7 / 2015
kanye sleeping.
shhhh
Kanye Rest
in his Kanye Nest
when he wakes up he’s going to be his kanye best
This is the tale of Kanye West, who is snuggled in his Kanye Nest, having himself a Kanye Rest, for he must be at his Kanye Best, before he’s off on a Kanye Quest, where he’ll be put to the Kanye Test, in hopes to retrieve the Kanye Chest that is distinctly marked with the Kanye Crest, He shall return to the Kanye Nest and have himself a Kanye Fest, where he will welcome many Kanye Guests, but first he must be rid of Kanye Pests, before he can put on his Kanye Vest and dance at the party with such Kanye Zest.
did you just
THIS POST WILL FOREVER HAUNT ME
Omfg
(via peace-love-bacongrease)
22 7 / 2015
what kind of school has giant posters of their students that’s just weird
i saw this and just kind of assumed thats how things are in america
is that not how things are in america
it is not how things are in america
(via peace-love-bacongrease)
21 9 / 2014
An Open Letter to Sam Pepper
Hi Sam!
Thanks for taking the time to read this letter. As fellow YouTubers, we have much respect for others who put so much hard work into building their channel. It’s not easy, and you should be proud! That said, we’ve noticed that in your success, there has been a lack of respect in…
(via lacigreen)
27 7 / 2014
25 7 / 2014
Favorite story posts part 1
That last one
My dad says the ‘making love in a canoe’ about american beer
(via peace-love-bacongrease)